Fair weather or all weather friend

My mom used to talk about "fair weather friend" - a friend that is around when things are going good - then she had what she called "all weather friend" - a friend that is around no matter what.

Lately I've been reading lots of blogs, and seems like I'm not the only one that has some fair weather friends - some of the ladies in these blogs have lost their baby or has been diagnosed with cancer or lost their husbands/boyfriends due to the war or given their child up for adoption.   Almost all of them say their friends back away when something bad happens- but this is the time they need someone the most.  Some of the friends will say call if you need anything - and you know as well as I do making a call to say I need something is very hard to do.  I'm thinking a lot of these friends just don't know what to say or feel very uncomfortable being around the sadness.  So I ask you to stop and think - a true friend finds a way to be supportive - and yes I also avoid sadness - but have tried to be more creative in support.

My husband had major surgery a couple years ago, none of my kids could be there with me - some had to watch the kids, some had meetings that couldn't be missed - and I was just gonna sit there by myself - which I know a lot of people do that - but as I was sitting in the waiting room - some of my friends texted me off and on - with just idle texting as we call it - but in walks the pastor of our church and he sat with me 3 1/2 hours until I got the call that the surgery was successful and he was in recovery.  And in that time he didn't look at his watch once nor his phone - we just sat and talked about all kinds of stuff. The comfort that brought was interesting to me since I thought I could handle being alone, but I was so grateful he showed up.

The majority of the people that I've read about have stated all they needed was someone to listen and not judge them - they didn't ask that someone agree with decisions or understand the pain - but just to listen - whether on the phone or in person.  So if you know someone that is having a difficult time right now - give them a call - say how are you doing - want to talk about it and then just listen - say something every few minutes so they know you are still there.

And do something - call and say what night can I leave dinner on your doorstep?
If someone is having a funeral - offer to drop off breakfast - take it in throw away pans - biscuits - scrambled eggs and bacon - and some cinnamon rolls -
If someone is in hospital - pack a cooler for the person with them at the hospital - everyone needs to eat or snack and when my daughter-in-laws mom was in intensive care - the family didn't want to leave the room or waiting room - we packed a cooler with ice and few waters- someone brought subs - chips - few paper plates - and lots of quarters for the vending machine. Another night someone ordered pizza - someone dropped off Starbucks - Each and Everything that was brought meant the family could eat and not leave the area.  For anyone that has experienced the hospital - you know that as soon as you walk away, the doctor makes his rounds -
If someone has been diagnosed with cancer - the treatments zap their strength - offer to go to grocery for them, pick up the laundry and do it - take the dog for a walk, mow the grass, go put out their garbage cans night before collection - ask if they need stamps for bills or cards -

So my challenge to you is to stop and think about the kind of friend you are.